Butt stuff is an entirely different type of play from oral and vaginal sex for many reasons. Those who love anal sex are often appreciative of its highly intimate nature and the unique sensation of fullness it gives the receiver.
Almost everyone has an anus, and since the anus has a ton of highly sensitive nerve endings, it’s absolutely thrilling to try anal stimulation if you haven’t explored it before. Having said that, butt stuff should be something you choose to do — not something you do to please anyone but yourself, and certainly not something anyone can be pushy or coercive about doing with you.
While it is fun as heck when done right, there’s a whole bunch of misinformation out there about it. Because everyone deserves to have a beautiful bum experience every time, here are seven tips that will help you prepare for and then enjoy yours.
1. Use the right condom for you when having anal sex.
First things first: Figure out your safer-sex approach. Keep in mind that if you’re not using a condom, anal sex is a higher-risk sex act, especially for the receiver. The rectum doesn’t self-lubricate and its lining is more delicate than that of the vagina or mouth, meaning you’re more likely to tear something during anal than during vaginal or oral sex, and tears can allow viruses or bacteria to enter the bloodstream. HIV and hepatitis are easily spread this way because they’re transmitted through blood-to-blood or semen-to-blood contact.
To minimize risk, you can use a latex condom (like this one from Sustain) or polyisoprene condom (which is free of allergens, like the Skyn condom from Lyfestyles) during anal sex with a penis or dildo, unless you can completely sterilize the dildo. You should also utilize dental dams during anal rimming, and nitrile gloves during manual penetration. (Of course, even if you are using a condom, many common STIs, including syphilis and herpes, can still be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact.)
2. If you’re not using condoms, utilize other methods to reduce the risk of transferring bacteria.
If you’re fluid-bonded with your partner — meaning you’ve chosen to stop using barrier methods, a choice that should be based on the results of comprehensive STI testing — it’s still important to avoid transferring bacteria from the rectum to other parts of the body, for example the vagina. Switching from anal to vaginal sex without replacing the condom or thoroughly washing the penis or dildo can lead to a vaginal or urinary tract infection.
3. Anal play should be pain-free, so take it slow and pile on the lube (or spit).
Your rectum is not a vaginal canal, nor is it a mouth and throat, so don’t expect your anus to work like other orifices. If you’re going to be the giver of anal penetration, don’t fuck an anus like any other orifice. Not only is the rectum a canal that does not self-lubricate as the vaginal canal and mouth do, the entry is also “gated” by two — yes, two — sphincters. This means that you shouldn’t dream of having anal sex without a thick water- or silicone-based lube.
It also means you’ve got to take it easy, at least at first. Pain is the body’s natural way of telling you to slow down or stop what you’re doing. While moments of discomfort may occur when you’re new to all the booty feelings that come with anal, sharper sensations are warning signs that something isn’t happening correctly or that you’re moving too quickly. Some folks combat this by using numbing or relaxing creams, but I urge you to avoid these at all costs. If you can’t feel pain, you won’t know when your body is telling you to stop, and you risk injury to your anal tissues.
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